Hey Reader,
​
The holidays are here and WHEW. What a year this month has been. Between global chaos, economic foolishness and just gestures at everything, we've all been through it. But we're in the final stretch of 2024, and somehow we've made it. 🙏🏾
​
I don't know about you, but I'm ready to close out this year with some intentional joy. Some purposeful peace. Some chosen cheer. Because even in the middle of everything going on, we deserve to find pockets of light.

Now, let's get into what's on my mind this week...

​
​

RANT

Keep your body comments to yourself at holiday gatherings.
​
​Listen. We need to have a conversation about how some of you act at holiday gatherings when it comes to commenting on people's bodies. Whether you're telling someone they need to "put some meat on their bones" or suggesting they might wanna eat less, I need you to understand that NOBODY asked for your opinion about their body. Not a single soul. 🤫
​
When I tell you I've been thin my whole life and the way people feel so comfortable telling me I need to eat more or asking "how much do you weigh? Like 100 pounds?" The AUDACITY. 🤮

​

And when I speak up about this, folks wanna be like "you're being too sensitive." NAH. Some of you just don't get checked enough and it shows. Because what we're not gonna do in 2024 is normalize making people feel bad about their bodies while they're trying to enjoy their mac and cheese. 🙅🏾‍♀️
​
Let me be clear: I absolutely understand that thin shaming is not the same as fat shaming. Fat shaming comes with systemic consequences and societal impact that thin shaming doesn't. However (and not but), in Black and Brown homes especially, being thin isn't considered ideal. The constant commentary is harmful and unnecessary.
​
I shared a video about this online a couple of days ago, and the way some of these Facebook aunties came for me about this topic tells me that you're probably the ones at the table making folks uncomfortable. And this year? This might be the year you get cussed smooth out because we're tired of being polite about it. 😤

We can critique fatphobia AND address how casually folks comment on thin bodies. They're connected issues that both need to stop. Your commentary on ANYBODY'S body is not needed, not wanted, and definitely not appreciated. ✋🏾

So this holiday season, I need you to keep those thoughts about other people's bodies to yourself. Let's just eat our food, play board games, and act like we got some house training. Is that too much to ask?

REFLECTION

We're done being polite about harm.
​
​When it comes to family gatherings and the holidays, I know many of us have swallowed words that needed to be said because we were trying to "be polite." How many times has someone said or done something harmful, and we stayed quiet to keep the peace? Too many times to count, I bet. 🤐
​
Y'all know I stay thinking about how politeness has been weaponized against us. ESPECIALLY against women. We're expected to smile and nod when people cross our boundaries, make harmful comments, or try to make us smaller. And if we speak up? If we say "actually, that's not okay"? Suddenly WE are the problem. We're "too sensitive" or "causing trouble" or "making people uncomfortable." 😒
​
Here's what I know for sure: your comfort shouldn't require my silence. Your peace shouldn't depend on my willingness to accept harm. Being polite doesn't serve anybody if it means letting harmful behavior continue unchecked.

We've somehow normalized the idea that keeping quiet is the nice thing to do. That speaking up when someone is being wronged is somehow rude or inappropriate. But Reader, let me tell you something: there is nothing polite about letting people harm others. There is nothing kind about staying silent in the face of disrespect. Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is say "absolutely NOT.” 👎🏾
​
So this holiday season, as we gather with family and friends, remember that you don't have to choose between being kind and setting boundaries. You can be loving AND speak up when something isn't right. You can care for people AND let them know when their behavior is harmful. 🗣️💬

Because at the end of the day, real love, real community, real connection? It's built on respect. And sometimes, respect requires us to be a little less polite and a little more honest. 🙏🏾

RECOMMENDATION

Get your "I'LL KNOCK ALL THIS SH*T OVER" sweatshirt.
​
​Sometimes, you gotta let people know you aren't the one to play with BEFORE they try it. And with the world being as unhinged as it is, sometimes, I need my clothes to say what I wanna yell. That's why I partnered with MESS IN A BOTTLE to create this sweatshirt and tshirt that says exactly what needs to be said. 😤
​
AND. WILL. 💪🏾

When you're tired of watching people choose comfort over courage, when you're done being polite in the face of microaggressions, when you're ready to be the voice that says "ENOUGH" to the foolishness... this sweatshirt is your armor. It's giving "I said what I said" energy. It's giving "try me if you want to" vibes. ✊🏾 And it's perfect for those moments when you need to let folks know that their nonsense will not be tolerated today or any day. 👊🏾
​
Get yours now on MessInABottle.com because just like my patience for foolishness, this won't be around forever. ⏳

Tell me: What comment did you stay "polite" about that actually deserved a "knock all this sh*t over" response? Hit reply and let me know.
​
Talk soon,

P.S. Speaking of speaking up... If you've been sitting on a book that needs to be written, if you have wisdom that needs to be shared, or a story that needs to be documented, The Book Academy's doors will be opening again soon. Join the waitlist now so you don't miss your chance to learn how to write and market that book that's been living in your heart. The world needs your voice, and I want to help you get it out there. 📚❤️