On Foolish Forms, Finding Fellowship and Feminine Florals
Published 3 months agoΒ β’Β 4 min read
Happy Leap Year Day! Just like that, February is about to be out. That went quick AF and the fact that weβre 2 months into this year is blowing my mind. TIME is acting like it stole something so itβs hauling ass. ππΎββοΈπ¨ β Speaking of TIME, last week, I was at the TIME Magazine Closers event, and being in that room with those luminaries was A TIME. Sorry. Iβm not allowed to say βtimeβ again in this newsletter issue π π π . β I am endlessly grateful to be thought about to be in spaces like that. β On this leap year day, letβs all take a deep breath and opportunity to revel in an extra day of the year and recommit to simplicity and streamlining things. β Which brings me toβ¦
RANT
Changing your name after marriage is a maze of a task. β βOne of my friends recently got married and asked the Group Chat what would be the most convenient way to legally change her name and we all agreed that there isn't one. You will be buried under fifty-eleven forms that all require different things. And it will be frustrating and raggedy. We sent our condolences as we were triggered ourselves. β It is ABSURD how inconvenient and unsimple it is to change your name. It's lowkey maddening even. You gotta change it on the social security level first and then do passport, bank accounts, memberships, airlines, hotelsβ¦ UTILITIES. ALL. DIFFERENT. PROCESSES. AND. FORMS. ππΎπ€
So, my question is this: why can't we just have ONE form so it changes our stuff across social security, travel, financial accounts and everything else? Why hasn't someone stepped up to innovate this mess? We live in an era where technology has revolutionized nearly every aspect of our lives, yet we're still stuck in the dark ages when it comes to something as basic as updating our names. It's time for a change, people. Use technology to make that process easier! π₯οΈβ β So, here's my plea to the brilliant minds out there: innovate this antiquated system and give us a solution that actually makes sense. Who's with me? πββοΈπββοΈ
REFLECTION
Your inability to ask for help is leaving you behind in unquantifiable ways. βWe live in a culture that celebrates the self-made success story. But we romanticize this notion to the point of self-destruction, and itβs not ok. Because most people who are SELF-MADE are actually COMMUNITY made. They did not do it completely alone. β We weren't meant to do any of this alone. Life, work, whatever. We were not meant to do it by ourselves. We were not meant to sit in silos trying to problem solve, figure out everything, raise kids, find jobs, sustain businesses, be healthy and whole. NONE of it should be about the individual. Empires of ONE do not exist. β Doing everything by yourself, without asking for insight from people you trust, recommendations from mentors or help from your partner is wearing you OUT and will continue to do so. π€²π½
Capitalism, racism, patriarchy, nationalism, Western culture foolishness, greed has convinced us, beaten us up and lied to us. It's told us that if we can't figure it all out by ourselves, we are not smart, not wise, and not capable. And our worthiness has been tied into all of it. Nobody is handing out medals for doing it all alone. Trust me, I've checked. π πΎββοΈποΈ β Meanwhile, the truth of it all is that life was designed to be a collective experience. We win together, lose together, grieve together, build together. I hoped that the once in a lifetime pandemic we all went through would embed that in our systems, never to be forgotten. And we've already forgotten. β There is strength in vulnerability, in admitting when we need assistance. Are you truly thriving, or are you merely surviving under the weight of your own independence? π€π
Lean on your tribe when the load becomes too heavy to bear alone. Seek counsel from those who have walked similar paths, glean wisdom from mentors who have weathered storms you've yet to face. And yes, don't hesitate to turn to your partner for support. Their presence and persistence can be a powerful force in navigating life's challenges. πͺπΎ β βIt's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It's a testament to your courage. Your journey will be richer, your victories sweeter, when you realize that you don't have to go it alone.
All this is to say: If you are struggling, drowning, floundering. And you've done it in silence, I'm sorry that you've learned that this is all yours to take on. You are worthy and deserving, and our (should be) collective obligation owes you that. Who are your people? Reach out. That is what has saved me time and time again. π€
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