Hey Reader!

Every week feels like a Groundhog Day of pure chaos at this point. 😫 And I feel like something shattered in the collective. Folks are not okay and these Epstein Files are some Game of Thrones level of insane that it’s all just too much!

So before we get into what's on my heart this week, I just want to name that. The collective anxiety. The way folks are moving like they've lost the plot entirely. If you're feeling it too, you're not alone. We're all just out here trying to make sense of nonsense. 😖😳

But yeah. Let's talk about it. 👇🏾

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RANT

Smoke detectors are super dramatic and they need to chill.

Earlier this week, I was home by myself when at 4am, I started hearing 3 chirps every 60 seconds.

I know you 🤬🤬🤬 lying. No, it wasn’t because there was smoke. It was because the battery died. In the middle of the doggone night?? You couldn’t tap out in the middle of the day? Had to be when I was sleeping soundly?

Now, I already knew there wasn’t much I could do about it so I just laid in bed for an hour and tried to will myself back to sleep. I eventually fell asleep but I woke up feeling like I had lost a fight. 😵‍💫🥴

The problem was my husband was outta town. And we have high ceilings. And I’m 5’4.

But every minute, when those three loud chirps went off, I was ready to fight somebody. So what did I have to do?

I hit up my tall friend, Moji and asked if she could make her way to my house to do me the favor of using her height to stop the madness. I even told her I’d bribe her with food. Cuz I ain’t too proud to beg 😅. She agreed to come at 4pm in the afternoon.

That afternoon did not come soon enough, because every time I heard those relentless chirps, I wanted to find whoever programmed smoke detectors to be so incessantly annoying, and give them a papercut. 😡

I get it. The detector is doing important work. But you can’t beep like once every 5 minutes? Every minute is INSANE.

Finally, Moji comes over and she gets on our highest step stool and replaces the battery. We wait and… BEEP BEEP BEEP again.

Sooo… it wasn’t the battery.

I tell her: "You know what? Unplug it. I think it’s done." Because when I googled what the chirps meant, it said batteries dead OR the detector is done for. It’s reached it’s end of life.

Yeah… it was the latter. So she basically had to twist the whole thing off. That is when I knew peace again. 😭

And when we looked, the unit was from April 2017. So yeah… it was old. Hubby will be replacing all the detectors this weekend.

Smoke detectors need to RELAX themselves! Sheesh.

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REFLECTION

Apologies you're owed might never come. Start with apologies you owe yourself.

I've been thinking a lot lately about closure. About the conversations we're waiting to have. The acknowledgments we're hoping will come. The "I'm sorry" that would finally let us exhale and move forward.

There are people who have harmed you. People who misunderstood you, dismissed you, betrayed you, or just flat-out did you wrong. And you're waiting for them to see it. To name it. To apologize.

Here's what I'm learning: Some of those apologies will never come.

Not because you don't deserve them. You absolutely do. But because some folks aren't capable of that level of accountability. Some people will never get to the place where they can look you in the eye and say "I was wrong. I hurt you. I'm sorry." Some people use pride to lead their lives and that means they do not have the capacity to apologize.

And that’s okay. You need to move forward without that apology ever coming.

But here's the thing that is even more important than those: There are also apologies YOU owe yourself. And those are the ones you must make sure happen. 🫣

You’ve got to say sorry to yourself for the ways you've dimmed your light to make others comfortable. For the times you ignored your gut because you wanted to be liked. For staying in situations that were draining you dry. For accepting less than you deserved because you convinced yourself it was all you could get.

For all the ways you've betrayed yourself. For the ways you’ve beat yourself up over your mistakes. Say sorry to you, Reader.

You can look yourself in the mirror and say:

"I'm sorry I didn't protect you sooner."
"I'm sorry I let fear keep you small."
"I'm sorry I expected you to carry all that weight."

You cannot control when others will own their harm, but you can decide today to stop harming yourself. And that is the one that actually hurts most. When we turn the arrows unto ourselves.

This is about recognizing that while you're waiting for external apologies, you might be withholding the internal ones that would actually set you free.

So yes, hold space for the fact that you deserved better from others. Absolutely. But also? Hold space for the fact that you deserve better from yourself too. 🫶🏾🫂

Make those apologies happen. Write them down if you need to. Say them out loud. Let them sink into your bones.

Because you deserve to be atoned to, even if the person who wronged you was you.

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RECOMMENDATION

Get Cynthia Erivo’s New Book

Speaking of giving ourselves what we deserve… my girl, Cynthia Erivo dropped a new book this week called "Simply More: A Book for Anyone Who's Been Told They Are Too Much."

IKTR, sis!!!

If you've ever been called "too loud," "too opinionated," "too emotional," "too ambitious," "too much" in any capacity, this book is speaking directly to your soul.

And you know… who doesn’t drop a book the same week their global film WICKED FOR GOOD comes out?

Chile… it would be her. Cynthia writes about embracing ALL of who you are. Not the watered-down version. Not the palatable version. Not the version that makes other people comfortable. The FULL, expansive, unapologetic version of yourself.

Like she says: she feels like she is ALL of herself right now, and that is a gift.

This feels especially important right now, in a world where everything is asking us to be less. Less visible. Less vocal. Less demanding of our full humanity.

Cynthia is reminding us: You are not too much. You are simply MORE. And that's exactly as it should be. 🗣️

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And ummm… there’s a familiar name in the acknowledgements. 😉😏 Plus, I was grinning ear to ear when I saw this conversation between my boo Glennon and my sis Cynthia on Glennon's podcast.

​Grab your copy here and gift one to someone in your life who needs permission to stop apologizing for their bigness.

So I'm wondering: What apology do you need to give yourself? Reply back and lemme know.

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P.S. I dropped an Emergency Preparedness checklist in my Patreon. Because in these unhinged times, you wanna STAY READY so you ain’t gotta get ready. Tap in. And use this weekend to do some stocking up, because we all deserve more peace of mind.

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