On Caucasity Chaos, Courageous Communication and Championing Courage
Published 4 days ago • 5 min read
Hey Reader, This week has been NUTS. I came home from vacation and the world went wild. Hurricanes, flooding, white people yelling crazy things in my direction on the internet. The fact that I've been able to get actual work done in the middle of the last 5 days of pure fkry... I'm very proud. 🏆 And trending for being in an internet beef with Jill Stein the grifting cicada (word to Wendi Aarons) was def not on my bingo card. This week has been topsy turvy AF, y’all! Whew!!! 😮💨
Let's jump into what's on my mind this week.
RANT
The audacity of caucasity has been off the charts lately. Listen. The caucasity has been on FULL display lately, and I'm tired. 😩 White women (and some men) have been feeling REALLY froggy about posting anti-Black nonsense since last year at this time, using 🍉 as some kind of secret code to spew foolishness. Many of them JUST learned who Audre Lorde was in 2020 during black square summer, and now they think they're experts on liberation. It is wildly unhinged and frankly ridiculous. They read one bell hooks book and are now spewing radical language without the experience, context, or praxis. One of them had the AUDACITY to tell me I need to go read "How to be an Anti-Racist." I HOLLERED. The nerve! 🙄
Since last October, I've had white women slide in my DMs with some WILD mess. Like the woman who told me that because I said "Free Palestine," I'm putting the life of her Jewish teenager in danger. Or the ones in my DMs now accusing me of being pro-genocide because I said I'm voting for Kamala. It’s giving whiplash and it’s unhinged and I’m just like “I KNOW Y’ALL NOT OKAY.” 👎🏾 White people lecturing Black women about justice, intersectionality, and freedom... it really does take a different level of unmitigated gall. The effrontery. The scruples. The hubris. The audacity. The NERVE. 🤮 It's wild out here, y'all. Folks are coming at us with half-baked understanding of complex issues, thinking they can school us on our own lived experiences. They're using our language, our concepts, but twisting them to fit their narrow worldview. And when we call them out? They cry foul, acting like we're the ones being unreasonable. 🥴❓
But here's the thing: we're not obligated to educate everyone who wanders into our space with their misguided opinions. We're not responsible for hand-holding folks through their journey to understanding basic human decency. And we're certainly not required to smile and nod while people spew nonsense at us. 🤦🏾♀️ So, to all the keyboard warriors out there: check yourself before you come for me or my people. Your Google degree in social justice doesn't trump my lived experiences. And one thing to remember: I am the person who LITERALLY owns the domain WHITEWOMENTEARS.com. I’m not the one to try 🚨.
REFLECTION
Our silence does not serve us. This week I’ve had to put a few people on blast on my social platforms when they came disrespectfully at me in DMs. And my audience gladly dragged em. But a few people were like “ignore them.” And it sent me down the reflection rabbit hole that I ended up creating a post about in my Patreon: About Silence, The Rage That Threatens to Kill Us and Letting It Out. Systems and people depend on our silence to cheat us, isolate us, and render us powerless. Someone on one of my posts said "I swallow my words, and now I'm choking on them." 😓 That hit me in the gut because it's so real. Our bodies reflect all those suppressed emotions. We've been gaslit into believing that our silence, especially when folks actively disrespect or harm us, is noble. It's actually not: it's killing us.
We've been taught that being quiet in the face of disrespect is somehow the "high road." But let me tell you something: there's nothing noble about choking on your own truth. There's nothing admirable about letting people walk all over you and your boundaries. Our silence doesn't protect us. It protects the systems and people who are doing us harm. It allows them to continue their bs unchecked. And while we're sitting there, thinking we're taking the high road, we're actually just internalizing all that hurt and anger. 🙅🏾♀️
Think about it: how many times have you bitten your tongue when someone said something offensive? How many times have you let a microaggression slide because you didn't want to "make a scene?” How often have you swallowed your words in a meeting, only to regret it later? 🤔💭 And the thing is that our silence is LITERALLY making us sick. Women are falling ill at disproportionate rates because we’re suppressing our emotions. And society has convinced us to be “well-behaved” women. That’s why I wrote Professional Troublemaker! I’m done with that.
F*CK IT. F*CK THAT. F*CK THEM. Let’s disrupt all this. I refuse to make myself sick by swallowing my words and emotions. ✊🏾 This unspoken rage, these suppressed emotions; they’re eating us alive. Don’t let the world convince you that silence is always the answer. Remember, you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. You don't have to silence yourself to make others comfortable. Let's break this cycle of silence. Let's use our voices. Because when we speak up, we're not just standing up for ourselves we're standing up for everyone who's ever been told to be quiet and take it. We're creating ripples that can turn into waves of change. 🌊
RECOMMENDATION
Preorder Little Troublemaker Defends Her Name Speaking of not being quiet… One of the reasons why I created the Little Troublemaker series is because I wanted to reflect a little girl who will always use her voice (even if she doesn’t always get it right). 💬 Anytime you see Little Troublemaker, she will always feel loved. She will always know she's better than her biggest mistakes. She will always feel grace. And at the end of the day, her confidence will always be encouraged by the people around her. She will always hear that her voice matters. She will always know that she deserves to take up space. 💪🏾❤️ And in this latest book LITTLE TROUBLEMAKER DEFENDS HER NAME, she will not be quiet when a kid makes fun of her name. Ultimately, she learns that her feelings matter, she can defend herself kindly, and she can forgive and open herself up to friendship! 🫂
This book is dedicated to all of us whose names were never on the keychains and mugs growing up 🥺. It's for every kid who's ever felt different, who's ever had to explain their name, or who have ever wished they could just blend in. So, whether you're a parent, an aunt, an uncle, a teacher, or just someone who loves empowering stories for kids, this book is for you. Let's help raise a generation of little troublemakers who know their worth and aren't afraid to stand up for themselves and others. 💪🏾
Before you go, I'd love to hear from you - Is there something you’ve been silent about that has been burning your grits? 💭 Hit reply and let me know. Because sometimes, just naming those moments can help. Talk soon,
P.S. In the Patreon this week, the community assignment is to: Write an angry letter and burn it. I invite you to do the same. Put it all down on paper, be unhinged about it and light it on fire (safely) to let it go. ✉️🔥
