Hey Reader,

Earlier this week, I had the honor of moderating the Chicago stop of Kennedy Ryan's book tour for her latest novel Can't Get Enough. Being in my hometown, surrounded by readers, celebrating a Black woman's stunning work? Pure joy. 😍

In a week where I've been wrestling with metrics and validation (more on that below), Kennedy's novel reminded me what matters: creating work that moves people. Stories that help us escape. Art that shows Black women being loved fully, without apology.

It inspired me to be a better writer. 👏🏾 To remember why I do this work in the first place.

So let’s talk about what’s been on my mind this week.👇🏾

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RANT

People move mad when it comes to the sexual abuse of women. 😒

The Diddy trial started this week and the way folks have been on dummy because of it? This cartoon villain ass dude who has done unspeakable things to Cassie Ventura (and other women) is on trial for his crimes. And you know what some people are doing in the year of our Lord 2025? Defending him. Questioning the women testifying. And standing on a dumbass pedestal. And it is completely utterly trash.

What has been especially disappointing are the women who are defending him. We know too many men are wayward and expected that (which is just devastating to even say) but when WOMEN are part of the peanut gallery of defenders for a known sexual predator (which is what we must call Sean Combs), we have really lost the plot. 🤯

Folks are on the internet saying things like "Well she's lying for attention" or "Why did she stay?" or "It can't be that bad, she's just trying to ruin his career" before the ink even dries on the allegations. And as the days pass on and more and more testimonies are coming out, the fact that this is happening is maddening.

What is happening?? Well, I think I have a little clue. 👀

Some women are so quick to defend the sexual abuse and intimate partner violence of public figures (and other women) because to give it consideration is to admit that they've been abused also. And if they haven't processed their own trauma, it's hard to reconcile.

You might be denying another woman's circumstance as abuse because it too closely mirrors yours and that is a truth you aren't willing to deal with right now.

And I have empathy for that. I really do. Trauma is HARD. Processing what happened to you is HARD. ❤️‍🩹

But your unprocessed trauma doesn't give you the right to publicly gaslight other women. It doesn't give you permission to add to someone else's pain.

How are you more worried about a rich man's reputation than a woman's safety and dignity?

And before you come at me with "but what about false accusations?" PLEASE. The statistics don't back you up. The vast majority of sexual assault allegations are TRUE. And for every person who speaks up, there are dozens who stay silent because they see how we treat those who do come forward. 🗣️

So here's my challenge: If you CANNOT defend a woman, if you're not ready to stand with her, then the LEAST you can do is be quiet. The absolute LEAST.

Put your phone down. Step away from the keyboard. Take a walk.

And maybe, just maybe, ask yourself why her story makes you so uncomfortable. Why you're so invested in not believing her. What that says about your own experiences and what you've normalized.

This isn't about "taking sides" in celebrity drama. This is about the culture we create for ALL women. This is about whether we make it safer or harder for people to speak their truth.

And if you're not making it safer? You're part of the problem.

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REFLECTION

Anchor in your why so validation is not your only success metric.

I've been thinking a lot about what keeps us going when the wins we expected don't materialize. What happens when you don't get the thing you wanted? The title, the credential, the stamp of approval? 🏆

For the first time ever, one of my books didn't hit the New York Times bestseller list. Little Troublemaker Defends Her Name, my fifth book, didn't make the cut.

I know how to launch a book. I had the strategy, the numbers, the receipts. It was #58 on USA Today's list, one of the top-selling children's books that week. But sometimes, you can do everything right and still not get the outcome you expected.

That's when I had to come back to my WHY. 🗣️

When I wrote this book, it wasn't for a list. It was for the child who has to correct their teacher on day one. For the kid whose name never shows up on the souvenir rack. For the ones who carry stories in their names that they're still learning how to speak out loud.

This journey has me reflecting on how often we chase validation that was never part of our original mission. How we let metrics define success that we didn't even create. How we forget our purpose when shiny credentials call our name.

If my students at The Book Academy asked me about the true success of a book, I'd never tell them "It's all about making that list." I'd tell them it's about reaching the hearts you were meant to touch. About creating work that reflects your deepest values. About showing up authentically and letting your offering ripple out into the world.

Yet here I was, letting myself forget my own wisdom. 🥹

The thing about disappointment is that it reveals what you were really after all along. If I'm devastated, what does that say about my true motivation? If I'm questioning my worth because a list didn't include my name, whose validation am I really seeking?

In these moments of reflection, I've come to understand something powerful:

Anchor in your why, because validation is a wave that comes and goes, but purpose is the shore that remains.

Because the kids don't care about bestseller lists. The ones we want to reach aren't looking at our work as less than because it doesn't have a certain credential attached to it.

The videos I'm seeing of little ones holding Little Troublemaker Defends Her Name, seeing themselves in those pages? That's the real win. The messages from parents saying "my child has been practicing how to correct people who mispronounce their name"? That's what this was always about. 🙏🏾

So yes, I felt the disappointment. I'm human. But I'm also anchored. I'm also clear on why I do this work.

And maybe that's the ultimate test of our why. Whether it can sustain us when the validation doesn't come. When the applause is quiet. When the credential eludes us.

When I recenter on my why, I remember that no external metric can take away the victory of work well done, aligned with my soul's purpose.

Whatever you're creating, whatever dream you're pursuing, let it be anchored in something deeper than acclaim. Let it be rooted in a purpose that outlasts disappointment. Let your why be the thing that catches you when the validation doesn't come.

That's how you'll win. Sometimes in ways you never even imagined.

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RECOMMENDATION

Help 500 more kids see themselves reflected in a book before summer break.

When really I anchor in my why, I remember that Little Troublemaker was written for kids who need to see themselves in stories. For children who deserve to feel proud of their names and their identities.

And thanks to YOUR incredible support, we've already sent 3,300 copies of Little Troublemaker Defends Her Name into classrooms across the country! 🙌🏾

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We'll be back in the fall when school is in session again, but right now, we have a time-sensitive opportunity to get these books into more hands, more hearts, more classrooms before summer hits. For a little less than $100, we can get this book into the hands of 5 kids who need this message.

No New York Times list can match the feeling of knowing a child somewhere is opening this book and feeling seen for the first time. That's the validation that matters. That's the metric worth chasing.

Here's what I'm wondering: What external validation have you been chasing that might be blinding you to the impact you're already making? What would it feel like to define success on your own terms?

With gratitude,

P.S. And yes, those custom name keychains are still available too! The perfect complement to a book about celebrating our names in all their uniqueness and beauty. 🥰